And Gutenberg Lived Here: Residuum On A Bed Of Rocket

Whoever would have guessed that

when I made a quick end run around the leftovers in the fridge today,

-hey, we made it through the weekend-

with guests-

what more do you want?

that I would.

on a Tuesday,



making a huge  statement

as part of the flash movement


of the millions of people each day

who minimize their world,

by tossing together anything they can find left,

after guests, taxes, an attack of refrigeratoritis-

that disease that suddenly eats anything not locked down

in the middle of the night-

when the fridge’s door is closed,

and the light is off-

yeah, yeah, the dog ate it.

So anyway,

it was Tuesday.

And there I was.

Making a flash movement statement,

when suddenly I realized:

not only was I making a statement-

and proving what I good manager I was-

forget that-

but also,

I was doing my bit as a concerned burgher-

to support the cause of potassium.

And green.

No, not that stuff on the top of the yogurt-

No, I was,

Yup, you guessed it.

celebrating the fact that today is national zucchini day.

At least I thought so.

Until I did some research.

And discovered that today is actually…

do pickled onions count as green?

So, first you make the end run through the residuum,

then you make up a statement to hide the fact

that you don’t really want to go to the grocery store,


You get creative.

Place six leaves of rocket in ice water-

that’s actually British for radicchio,

hey, anything sounds fancier in British, don’t you think?

Even wilted lettuce.

Then you top it with ants on a log-

that’s celery slathered with peanut butter

and topped with raisins-

thanks star restaurant chef nephew of mine with a three-year-old son-

then you take a hard roll from the freezer,

toast it so many times you get zwieback,

and smear it with the remains of a jar of mint jelly-

from the Easter dinner.

I was thinking of a soup made of catsup for a first course,

when I found a cube of dried pea soup-

made in lumps over here, not powder.

We had an orange

with leftover pieces of chocolate Easter rabbit,

for desert.

And coffee from a special “happy Easter, try this” sample

from a coffee roaster here in town.

All in all,

it tasted great.

AND it even motivated me to clean the fridge,

since it was so nice and empty.

Now comes the big question:

for tomorrow:


or the chicken that seems to have something to do with the US civil war?

Will let you know.

Copyright 2017

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