Did you ever have one of those weeks…?
And this is the point where normal people
put down a list of the totally bizarre
things that happened to them in the last seven days,
knowing full well that,
even though such things happen,
and are freaky,
and scientifically fully on the edge to psychic buddies
or whatever that odd show is called,
still, everyone in my choir wants to waste choir time talking about it-
“why can’t we all sing that song that the guy from super-duper-singers-trooper
who accompanied himself
on a hollowed out cucumber sang?”
“Because you would each have to pay for fifty-two cucumbers
before we sang the concert,
and in winter you would have to play it on a potato.”
In this world we are living in at the moment, though,
this is the norm.
And happens every week,
no matter what,
is still a “finding a skate key, three kinds of ice cream, and a warm puppy.”
Don’t you love Charles M Schultz?
I’m just a conductor-
with an a capella bend,
and a true love
of groups like Crossroads,
or the old Gas House Gang
(barbershop super-stars from St Louis-
listen to their version of the thieving magpie if you can.)
due to my dislike of singers who sing at the loudness level of Brunhilda
in the Valkyerie,
while fighting electric instruments,
I found myself in a position where:
I had to bite my tongue
and not mention
that the arrangement of This Little Light Of Mine,
cheapened to three voices
and a loud piano,
is actually the arrangement they use in Sunday School Kindergartens in the States.
I just told them it wasn’t fancy enough for their talent level,
and they could do better.
Next week, if they try again to convince me-
they are famous for not giving up-
I will teach them the candle in the hand gesture,
waving arms for sun rays,
and tent made of hands
to signify a bushel
the song requires to be effective.
Perhaps with a cute little turn
that shows off their hair ribbons
and black patent shoes.
Did I mention it was a bad week?
Then, of course, there was the fact that
the city is trying to force us to use trams
by doing massive roadwork here,
dropping the tempo limit to twenty mph,
even though there are no schools,
and it isn’t fuel-efficient,
and closing at least one of each two lanes
on each of the roads into the city.
there is my personal psychotic troll,
who wrote me she is the one who caught Creflo Dollar,
and is now after me.
And if you don’t know who Creflo dollar is,
neither does she.
Our tax man,
an incredibly kind and decent type we have known for many years,
laughed till the tears came at this idiot,
and then mentioned that this is now apparently the norm in this world.
And since we owed nothing,
we laughed all the way home.
Where we found that,
by precise use
of honest prayer,
and the exact application
of a mystical wonder-spell,
our world is being held in order
by our team of Sam,
the guardian angel,
our fairy godmother,
both of whom,
with our dear friends
in the internet watch league,
have thankfully accepted missions
to watch over us,
and protect us from all bizarre happenings,
and psychotic troll folk
including the ones about cucumber flutes,
and Creflo Dollar’s psychotic tax troll.
And Happy Sunday.
copyright Dunnasead.co 2018 All rights reserved
4 thoughts on “And Gutenberg Lived Here: And Finally It Was Sunday.”
Y’know, I think learning to play a potato in winter might actually match my abilities. Thanks so much for suggesting it. And since this was posted in May and you’ll get it, at best, on the last day of August, I expect you’ll look at it and think (as I often do when I get delayed comments on my blog), What?????????
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Since an ocarina is also called a sweet potato where I am from….nope, there is no excuse for a potato. But let me know how you progress. Maybe I’ll change my mind. (And if it doesn’t work, you can always make one of those odd British lunches of baked potato with cole slaw, and or baked beans.
This is wonderful!
Thank you so much. An honor from the one who writes victualling.